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December 16, 2017

Half Half Guys – HMDP #31

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve dated a guy who was half in and half out. Like, he’s really into you up to an extent!

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December 13, 2017

Where to meet men – Ask Harvey #35

Oh yeah!

I’m sick of online dating! Are you? Sure, in some cases it causes some really awesome relationships and for people with less time to connect with people, but I also think it’s dulling us a little bit. If you’re trying to figure out a better place for where to meet men, this is for you! Read More

December 10, 2017

How to Make Him Want You

This is one of the most commonly asked questions that is asked in the world of dating.

“How do I make him like me?” So let’s talk about the situation.

You’re interested in a guy and well… you’re not quite sure if he’s interested in you back! You’ve even dropped a few hints! Maybe you’ve snuggled on the couch a bit while watching a movie, maybe you’ve spent all time of the day texting each other and it starts to get a little bit flirty.

Let’s face the truth, as a guy, when talking to women, it can be an emotional minefield! Some of us can’t really tell if a girl likes us, OR WORSE, we can often confuse flirting with a girl being nice to us. It’s a nightmare for most men!

But, before I tell you how to make him like you, because if you’re reading this you are, or might have been, in a situation where you’ve dropped so many hints it’s really silly, I want to tell you about a couple of situations to look out for.

1. ARE YOU TRYING TO “FIGURE IT OUT.”

Some people get into this trap. They get into a trap of “but I just need to find this missing piece,” or “If I just work hard enough at it, I can get this to work.” I have one truth for you if you’re in this state. RELATIONSHIPS ARE COLLABORATIVE. You’ve heard me say this a thousand times and this is another way of discussing it.

Think of a project that two people are working on. They discuss it, they both want to be there and they both want to participate in it. What if one person DOESN’T want to be there? Well, it’s not really much of a collaboration anymore is it? Now it’s more one-sided. Now, in this project, if you’re struggling to get the project done, what options do you have?

You can work harder (not a very viable long-term solution).
You can find a new partner, somebody who WANTS to be with you (and work with you).
OR
You can do what everybody normally does, and study on how to MAKE another person like/work with you.

This last option is a failing strategy.

It’s a failing strategy because you’re trying to force somebody to do something they don’t want to do. It’s as simple as that. If you’re FORCING somebody to like you, if you’re trying to CONVINCE somebody to like you, you’re doing it wrong. REALLY WRONG!

This basically communicates to yourself that YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. That YOU have to learn some new strategy or some new trick in order to be attractive and make him like you.

2. DOES HE ACTUALLY LIKE YOU?

If he does, then great! If he doesn’t, then hell not! Remember, this really simple rule. IF HE LIKES YOU, he will make it easier for you!

This means, all the frustration of you trying to figure it out GOES OUT THE WINDOW! This means, all the time that when you try and figure out what to say, or when you’re trying to make it happen, NONE OF IT ACTUALLY MATTERS.

IF HE LIKES YOU, if he wants you or if he is ready for you, he will make it easier for you. Sure, you might say things wrong, but most of the time a guy will like what you said if he likes you. If he isn’t ready for you, he will only collaborate with you up until that point!

For example:
Guy A likes you and you like Guy A, you guys have been hanging out for a little bit but you’re not quite sure how he feels. You’ve had a chat with him about it and he’s not really sure. He kind of keeps you at emotional arm’s length. What does this mean?

This does not mean you have to try and figure out how to help or heal him or wait in line for your turn because truth be told all those things just teach him that you’re his therapist or his friend! What you have to do is realise that he’s just not ready and all the pining around, waiting around and ‘orbiting’ that takes place will not help you. In fact, waiting around trying to figure it out ACTUALLY MAKES IT WORSE! You’re teaching him that you’re a friend when you don’t just want to be his friend. In fact, being friends comes from being lovers or partners!

3. IF HE LIKES YOU~ DO THIS!

This is simple, and easy, and is so simple and easy it might actually go over your head, so take the time to read what is written below and even take the time to notice what I am pointing towards.

If he likes you, do this one little thing.

Listen.

Listen to him, listen to what he needs, what he wants and what he likes and what he doesn’t like. People will tell you what they like, they will also tell you what they don’t like. If a guy needs to push you away, sometimes that’s actually a good thing because it builds tension or he needs to know if he can trust you with some distance. The dating-dance is this invisible adjustment of tests to see what kind of partner you will be. Listen to what he’s doing, his actions and you’ll transcend any zone!

For example:

Guy B and you have been dating for a while, but now he feels a bit restless and needs to spend time without you for a little bit. Give him that space, and if he wants you he will come back. He then learns in that time that you’re the kind of woman that can look after yourself and that he doesn’t always need to look after!

Another example:

Guy C and you have gone on one date and you are keen to hang out again, but you’re not quite sure where he is at yet. You notice he’s quite busy so you don’t ask him out for a couple days. When you do he responds like he’s been waiting all week for you to ask him! That is how we want our love life to go!

WHY DOES THIS WORK

It works because of a little thing called empathy. In fact, it works in all situations because if you notice a guy needs space and he disappears on you, good riddance! He didn’t actually want you in the first place. Often too much pressure on a guy can make him disappear!

After all, love isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Take the time to read the signs. Think before you act and don’t try and draw conclusions when you’ve got very little evidence!

Thanks for reading!

Harvey Hooke Xx

December 8, 2017

How to be Fearless in Love – HMDP #30

Seriously, this is something I really want to share, and I actually KEEP sharing and I am waiting for people to catch on.

I don’t do this because I want to make money. I want to do this because I see people hurting themselves in relationships and I want things to change!

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December 6, 2017

My Biggest Dating Advice For Women – Ask Harvey #34

It happens.

When you are in a relationship, then suddenly it starts to fade.

It starts to hurt and it starts to fall apart.

WHY?

Well, I can give you my biggest piece of advice that is the reason why.

I call it the DOUBLE Ds of DESTRUCTION and DECAY!

It’s these twin forces that start to happen that ultimately start to decay our relationships and if you’re not careful, they can also decay other parts of your life.

Isn’t that so frustrating, when you keep trying and trying and trying and nothing seems to work?

Honestly, the same thing can be said to your career, or your body or even your health. These twin forces decay and destroy ALL parts of your life!

I like to start from our relationships though because when you start from there, you can easily see the effects roll through all other parts of your relationship.

BUT WHAT ARE THE DOUBLE Ds?

Well, you’re going to have to watch the latest youtube video to find out!