Sort Your Shit Out
How this works!
Well, basically, this is about your identity.
How you think and feel, but most importantly, what you think about yourself. How you view yourself. The key fundamental things that you think and feel. Love, dating, standards and all the stuff that you see online is NOT meant to be that hard. In fact, the fact that dating coaches even exists (albeit a cool job) is sort of silly. Since when did you need a coach to do something that we’ve been doing for the entirety of human history?
While coaches themselves have existed for a while, dating coaches often will misguide you.
They will tell you what to say, what to do, what text to send and how to structure a date. All of these are good, but they are all surface level solutions.
You see, most of the time the problems get solved automatically when we sort out how you view yourself. I’m here (yes, this is me, Harvey writing this) to help you sort your shit out.
The BIG problem with most personal development.
Most stuff that you’ll read online and videos that you’ll watch will always talk from one fundamental key flaw. That you need to ‘reach your potential’ or ‘do/be something different.’ This is total bullshit. Throughout all my time as a coach, working with people I have observed one truth.
You cannot fix something you think is broken.
Moving forward, as you explore this site and work with me, you’ll notice that I come to your aid with that idea in mind. You can’t fix something you think is broken and you sure as hell can’t find something you think is lost. This is GROUND-BREAKING and changes the whole name of the game when it comes to dating, love and relationships.
Most people think that there is something slightly off with them, or that they don’t trust themselves fully or their partner fully, so they seek out an outside source to help validate their thoughts/words/deeds. I, as the coach, am here to help you form an amazing sense of who you are, but also help you realise something fantastic.
That you are already perfect.
This is not some smoke-up-your-ass-feel-good-perfect. This is a full experiential take over of your mind body and soul. You cannot bullshit yourself for long and you sure as hell cannot bullshit somebody you’re attracted to.
Things that don’t work:
Playing games will attract people who like to play games. Sure, there might be a fun with playing games (and you’ll understand this when we talk about really cool ways of flirting and setting up dates and stuff like that), they do not work because you’ll only be able to attract people who respond to games. You won’t even be able to see or interact with the people who want an honest and genuine connection.
Now, before you burn me at the stake, hear me out. I’m a massive advocate of self-love. I even created an incredibly famous online course (the Seven Day Self Love Course), but I took that offline when I saw that most people used it for the wrong reasons. They loved themselves into a corner. It was messed up.
Sometimes people use self-love just as a replacement drug. They treated their partner like a drug dealer, but their partner stopped dealing them so they got upset. Then they learned how to love themselves, but they still were a junkie living from love-hit to love-hit. This is not good in my opinion.
I don’t know about you, but to me jealousy is awesome, but it is also fucked up. Like all emotions (which are our friends), it serves a purpose. We get jealous of other people when they have something that we want or should have. It’s messed up because most people when in relationships, get jealous when that is a clear sign that they should be working on their relationship.
Telling yourself “you’re working on it.”
Are you actually working on it or telling yourself that. To me, this is total bullshit when people say that. I hear it every day from somebody who is trying to convince themselves that everything is ok.
As a metaphor, if your house was on fire, telling yourself that your working on it is not going to help. Put out the fire! You can only say “I’m working on it” if you’re actually seeing results. If you’re not, then you’re bullshitting yourself.
Enjoying the process.
Yes, this is key, but again, some people aren’t getting anywhere so they’ve forced themselves to enjoy the scraps that they are getting. You’re worth MORE than what you’re getting. You’re a powerful fucking human being. If you’ve forced yourself to enjoy the scraps of affection other people are giving you, you’ve convinced yourself to be worth less than what you really are.
What do you actually want to enjoy? The answer is RESULTS. Actually seeing your love life flourish. That’s the process that is actually worth enjoying and it makes the whole thing worth it! You know how people say that the journey is more important than the destination? Well, you have to actually be moving to enjoy that, and most people do not do that.
Why I do what I do.
Yes, I am a dating coach, but most of the time most people can’t hear what I am saying because they are running around in circles hurting themselves. Then they get into a relationship and hurt themselves with the relationship. If you’ve ever been the culprit of a situation where you’ve experienced the same situation over and over and over again, only to realise that you’ve never actually solved the problem (like breaking up with somebody only to meet somebody similar) you’re going to have a field day talking to me.
I do what I do because I care. I care about people. I care because I’ve been there and I care because the answer is so bloody simple. It’s like a light switch. Most people spend their lives wandering around in the dark (especially in their love life) when all you need to do is turn on a light switch.
It does not have to be this hard.
Love is easy.
Love is totally easy. Connecting with other people, having a special somebody actually see you and enjoy you, not see what they want to see and use you and go.
Dating IS easy.
Dating is not a job interview. Dating is not a chore. It’s a part of life. It is not something that you do, it is something that is a part of life. If it seems like an obstacle, then we have to talk.
Relationships are easy.
I say relationships not relationship because I don’t want to exclude certain poly people, but also, the same lessons you’ll learn with me will easily be applied to all your relationships. My clients shine in all parts of their life, get promotions and fix long-lasting family feuds just because it makes sense.
Sex is fun.
It’s passionate, raw but also sensual. It’s both sacred and not. It can be, just like relationships, what ever you want it to be! Sexual hang ups can get in the way and kill a genuine and amazing connection.
So what can you do now?
Well, here’s the thing. You have several options.
Before you work with me, I need you to crusade through my website to find stuff that will help you. 90% of the time, it’ll be on my site. If not, we can set up a call. If you want to be lead through it, then I’m also here to transform the fuck out of your life. You won’t even know what hit you, and everybody around you will just say
“You seem different, yet more you than ever before.
Video: How to heal yourself > Click here
Video: How to get your ex back > Click here
Article: How to get over the fear of failure > Click here
Article: Why Men Disappear on you > Click here
Article: The “What If” Person > Click here
Article: 3 Awesome Habits for Amazing Relationships > Click here
Podcast: Being taken seriously in your love life > Click here
Talk with me:
Want to work with me? Click here
Why “Get Him Hooked” and not anything else?
I’m mostly a dating coach for women. To be specific, a dating coach for heterosexual women who identify as such. Honestly, that aside, if you’re a man, woman, straight, gay, bi, mono, poly, something in between or something that I did not list, it’s all the same.
We are human after all. Apart from specific reproductive organ things, the rest is universal. It is insane how much misconception there is here. I’ve coached thousands of people, from men, women and the whole list above. I’ve even coached other dating coaches (yes, this is true). In 2015 I toured the world specifically coaching men on their dating lives with women.
You’ll find that most of my writing is assuming your a woman who’s interested in a man. If this is not you, please replace the genders and sex with yours of preference. Again, we are all humans first.
If you do not identify as human, then this is not the website for you.